reflections on old merch ive designed
Apr. 11th, 2026 16:34![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meganehavenive been super interested in merch making for a long time! made my first ever charms out of shrinky dink when i was 15, i sold like 2 only to friends and family lmao. but this will exclude merch i made as a teenager, and skip along to 2022 onwards after my shop reopened (i had it closed while applying for disabiliy, and got approved to be "self employed" w commissions and my shop in late 2022)
—
Yumekuro Heart Buttons - Est, Cinis, Oboro
i made these before i had my own heart button press! so sad still that yumekuro is EOS </3
despite ymkr being a very niche fandom outside of japan, even when it was still active, these sold decently! i kept an est and oboro for myself too, by printing extra. back then i was SUPER proud of the artwork, especially the shading! and honestly for my skill level at the time, these were impressive! ive def improved since then, but im glad i took the leap and risk to make these (:
Technomagic OC Heart Buttons - Solithe, Hawk
two very beloved ocs of mine! also made before i had my own press. honestly i was surprised these sold at all, i didnt realize how many ppl liked my ocs... i mostly made them for fun haha, so it was a risk. im someone who loves buying other artists oc merch and such, so i suppose im not the only one out there!
friends have suggested i redraw these anew, but idk.. maybe i should wait until the last couple sell?? so theyre fully sold out. plus id prob want diff poses, not just a redraw. id def include ethyron and tabi in the set too, so maybe it should have a theme? like... halloween, summertime, valentines, uhhhh yeah.
Trans Pride - Divine Alchemy of the Self
one of my first buttons after getting my press! :D
i once saw someone describe being transgender as "divine alchemy of the self". it really stuck with me, so i made buttons out of it! i wonder if i should have used a font rather than handwriting it myself tho, considering print is hard for me (i usually write in cursive). even so, my handwriting is quick and messy regardless lol. took forever to get the text drawn!
a customer once sent me a pic of their hat with this pin on it, and i was really touched... im glad this resonates with other trans ppl :D
Black and White Cat Buttons
this originally started as a doodle of the black cat, but so many ppl liked it that i put it on a button! later on a did a white cat variant too (:
ive never been confident in drawing animals, due to lack of practice tbh. but others seem to like the little cat blobs ill draw sometimes? maybe it was meant to be this way lol. i mean, these ARE sold out!
the black cat is also a freebie sticker of mine! i sometimes include it in shop orders, and give them away to cool artists and ppl i meet while attending cons :3
—
ive come a long way with my art, tho sometimes i worry that i havent haha. ive learned a lot about file formatting, how to find and test good manufacturers VS red flags, and drawing in general! i have many ideas and some merch design wips.. which i work on slowly due to health / disability, but regardless! i love making merch (:
—
Yumekuro Heart Buttons - Est, Cinis, Oboro
i made these before i had my own heart button press! so sad still that yumekuro is EOS </3
despite ymkr being a very niche fandom outside of japan, even when it was still active, these sold decently! i kept an est and oboro for myself too, by printing extra. back then i was SUPER proud of the artwork, especially the shading! and honestly for my skill level at the time, these were impressive! ive def improved since then, but im glad i took the leap and risk to make these (:
Technomagic OC Heart Buttons - Solithe, Hawk
two very beloved ocs of mine! also made before i had my own press. honestly i was surprised these sold at all, i didnt realize how many ppl liked my ocs... i mostly made them for fun haha, so it was a risk. im someone who loves buying other artists oc merch and such, so i suppose im not the only one out there!
friends have suggested i redraw these anew, but idk.. maybe i should wait until the last couple sell?? so theyre fully sold out. plus id prob want diff poses, not just a redraw. id def include ethyron and tabi in the set too, so maybe it should have a theme? like... halloween, summertime, valentines, uhhhh yeah.
Trans Pride - Divine Alchemy of the Self
one of my first buttons after getting my press! :D
i once saw someone describe being transgender as "divine alchemy of the self". it really stuck with me, so i made buttons out of it! i wonder if i should have used a font rather than handwriting it myself tho, considering print is hard for me (i usually write in cursive). even so, my handwriting is quick and messy regardless lol. took forever to get the text drawn!
a customer once sent me a pic of their hat with this pin on it, and i was really touched... im glad this resonates with other trans ppl :D
Black and White Cat Buttons
this originally started as a doodle of the black cat, but so many ppl liked it that i put it on a button! later on a did a white cat variant too (:
ive never been confident in drawing animals, due to lack of practice tbh. but others seem to like the little cat blobs ill draw sometimes? maybe it was meant to be this way lol. i mean, these ARE sold out!
the black cat is also a freebie sticker of mine! i sometimes include it in shop orders, and give them away to cool artists and ppl i meet while attending cons :3
—
ive come a long way with my art, tho sometimes i worry that i havent haha. ive learned a lot about file formatting, how to find and test good manufacturers VS red flags, and drawing in general! i have many ideas and some merch design wips.. which i work on slowly due to health / disability, but regardless! i love making merch (:
Just So You Aren't Caught Unawares...
Apr. 11th, 2026 00:10elyusionThree Weeks for Dreamwidth is coming up! If you don't know what that is, it's basically 3 weeks of making Dreamwidth-only content to create more activity and love for the site. If possible, it's encouraged to link to Dreamwidth posts/communities/etc. on other sites to make people more interested in the place :] But you don't have to do that, or really anything if you don't want to, obviously. It runs from April 25th to May 15th. You can see what other people plan on doing @![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
3weeks4dreamwidth.
As for me, among other things, I plan on encouraging more activity in my communities. So if you like visual kei or Japanese rock music or really edgy aesthetics or your demon hand that thirsts for blood, you should joinvkotd if you haven't already. I'm going to be holding a new challenge soon :3 And by the end of it you may be... rewarded. Or not. Depends.
Also I madejoseimuke on impulse the other day, which is completely unasked for and blank, but if you like shoujo and josei animanga or otome games or a little BL or some yuri or those phone games where the cast is 99% bishounen/seinen or etc. feel free to join early and see what I'm cooking. Everything you see there right now is very provisional.
Join my comms 🙏🏾 Make your friends join my comms 🙏🏾 Make your friends' friends join my comms 🙏🏾 Or don't, it's all good. I just want more activity on Dreamwidth -- so if you want to start a community, you should! Now's a pretty good time to start making one. Anyone else got plans for 3w4dw?
3weeks4dreamwidth.As for me, among other things, I plan on encouraging more activity in my communities. So if you like visual kei or Japanese rock music or really edgy aesthetics or your demon hand that thirsts for blood, you should join
vkotd if you haven't already. I'm going to be holding a new challenge soon :3 And by the end of it you may be... rewarded. Or not. Depends.Also I made
joseimuke on impulse the other day, which is completely unasked for and blank, but if you like shoujo and josei animanga or otome games or a little BL or some yuri or those phone games where the cast is 99% bishounen/seinen or etc. feel free to join early and see what I'm cooking. Everything you see there right now is very provisional.Join my comms 🙏🏾 Make your friends join my comms 🙏🏾 Make your friends' friends join my comms 🙏🏾 Or don't, it's all good. I just want more activity on Dreamwidth -- so if you want to start a community, you should! Now's a pretty good time to start making one. Anyone else got plans for 3w4dw?
it's not that they're bad but they just have a solid 5/10-6/10 discography
Apr. 9th, 2026 23:25stardust_rifleresearch for the mamogya fanlore article is going down some dark places, a word which here means that m thought "good god if you're going to be cutting yourself for a bandman and @ -ing him the pics please at least pick one that makes good music" while collecting primary sources
(no subject)
Apr. 9th, 2026 14:32stardust_rifleIf there's one thing I want English-speaking AMV/animatic culture to steal from CN-speaking AMV/animatic culture it's the presence of La gloire à mes genoux as an entry in the list of Default AMV/Animatic Songs. It fucks.
stardust_riflecurrently wearing a t shirt that says I LOVE DOING PRIMARY SOURCE RESEARCH ON TEN SEPARATE DYING WEBSITES IN A LANGUAGE I DO NOT SPEAK VERY WELL
Back at the cinema again
Apr. 6th, 2026 21:02thispatternismineJust got back from seeing They Will Kill You. Huge amount of fun, lashings of gore (how did that only get a 15 cert like damn), great fight choreography.
Also some amazingly good cinematography going on. Well-framed shots, & good lighting & use of colour. I feel like it overdid dolly zooms (this is where the subject stays in place but the background seems to woosh forward or backward) maybe a little but eh whatever. They did not have to make such a hammy, ridiculous, horror-comedy film look this good, but I appreciate their doing so.
art rambling after the hell known as "health"
Apr. 5th, 2026 21:19meganehaven( health vent and such, with a glimmer of hope )
............anyways! been slow at drawing recently, but working on the couple of commissions i have. also planning on some merch designs due 5/30, esp since the special thing i was part of ended up not making it to be produced. i gotta have Some kind of merch to design lol.. my autism for merch making is merely limited by my physical health! either way, i have my plans written i just gotta finish comms first (:
artfight is in 3 months now, and while i dont normally prep new refs in advance, id like to finally sit down and make some for ocs that Dont have fullbody refs. that would be: Visp Verity (UTAU), Tabi (Technomagic, original), Imelda Sagun (The Lumen-Lit, original), and Sammie (Splatoon). idk if ill get them all done in time..? but ill try!! id also like to do updated refs for Solithe Fennessec, Hawk, and Lord Ethyron since theirs are from 2021 lol
also been planning a "base ref" for my sona, so that i can edit the outfit and such for different universes (: i am.... the selfship guy even tho im very shy talking about it haha
too much to draw with too little energy to sit up !! will have to sort priorities, with commissions at the top
my final message for this entry: me, my bf, and one roommate were chatting in the car, both of them telling me i should make a "chess yaoi zine".. which would be very fun, i do love chess and used to compete in tournaments.... have to start planning gijinkas in that case lol. our roommate said the queen could be a super feminine gay guy, and i was like WAAAAIT UR RIGHT...! tho traditionally we all know the queen is a trans woman.
...as a very young child, i would think about how i was told all pieces were men with the exception of the queen. "pawn become queen how..?" i swear if the genders were the other way around i would have come out wayyyy sooner than age 12 LMAO
............anyways! been slow at drawing recently, but working on the couple of commissions i have. also planning on some merch designs due 5/30, esp since the special thing i was part of ended up not making it to be produced. i gotta have Some kind of merch to design lol.. my autism for merch making is merely limited by my physical health! either way, i have my plans written i just gotta finish comms first (:
artfight is in 3 months now, and while i dont normally prep new refs in advance, id like to finally sit down and make some for ocs that Dont have fullbody refs. that would be: Visp Verity (UTAU), Tabi (Technomagic, original), Imelda Sagun (The Lumen-Lit, original), and Sammie (Splatoon). idk if ill get them all done in time..? but ill try!! id also like to do updated refs for Solithe Fennessec, Hawk, and Lord Ethyron since theirs are from 2021 lol
also been planning a "base ref" for my sona, so that i can edit the outfit and such for different universes (: i am.... the selfship guy even tho im very shy talking about it haha
too much to draw with too little energy to sit up !! will have to sort priorities, with commissions at the top
my final message for this entry: me, my bf, and one roommate were chatting in the car, both of them telling me i should make a "chess yaoi zine".. which would be very fun, i do love chess and used to compete in tournaments.... have to start planning gijinkas in that case lol. our roommate said the queen could be a super feminine gay guy, and i was like WAAAAIT UR RIGHT...! tho traditionally we all know the queen is a trans woman.
...as a very young child, i would think about how i was told all pieces were men with the exception of the queen. "pawn become queen how..?" i swear if the genders were the other way around i would have come out wayyyy sooner than age 12 LMAO
wiki editing really is like crack to autists i thought they were exaggerating
Apr. 5th, 2026 21:38stardust_rifleToday, I celebrated the resurrection of Jesus Christ by entering some sort of bizarre stupor and going on a horrible editing spree of Fanlore's Jojo's Bizarre Adventure articles.
Books & Film
Apr. 4th, 2026 09:43thispatternismineWent to see Project Hail Mary this week. Twice! It was so good, & very faithful to the book. A few things got cut or condensed for time, or tweaked to work in a visual medium, but overall it was a perfect adaptation. I got a free beanbag afterwards too, similar to the ones seen in the film.
Second time I essentially got my own private screening, as I went to a small independent cinema on a Wednesday afternoon & it's a few weeks into its run, so it was just me. Did nearly get lost in the place, even though it only has 3 screens, because in order to fit within the fairly small building its located in, the layout is odd & the hallways are a maze.
I'm rereading the book now, because it's been a while since I read it.
Speaking of books, I managed to pick up a copy of Ways of Seeing by John Berger from WH Smith (or whatever its calling itself these days) for £1 on clearance. I absolutely was not expecting that. Just went in because I needed stationary & that shop is so overpriced, the clearance section is the best option. I such a good book & I've wanted by own copy for a while, so randomly stumbling on one like this was very nice indeed. There was also a fun art book (Journal With Purpose by Helen Colebrook), that might actually encourage my creativity. Every art guide aimed at beginners is like 'Just draw things! Be creative!' & I'm like OK, but draw what? My mind is as blank as the paper I'm looking at. Or they're step guides on how to draw specific things that I don't necessarily want to draw ('Do you mean step-by-step guides?' No, because they don't have steps. It's like 'Step 1: Draw some circles & then some lines between them. Step 2: Fill in a shitload of detail & you're done!'). This book is full of little motifs & designs to try out doodling in order to add decorative touches to stuff & play around with. This is exactly what I want. I don't have any grand designs on being some skilled artist. I just wanna doodle stuff & have fun with shapes.
Classical Chinese for the Layperson
Apr. 3rd, 2026 23:39elyusionHaving a fun time with this website on classical Chinese for people who are studying it or are just really nosy. I'm glad to say I'm the latter and I'm having a blast ^o^ I really love using the little Chinese I know, plus sometimes the Japanese, plus obviously my English knowledge to read the translation and reverse-engineer how classical Chinese grammar probably works. Hope you enjoy the site too!!
(no subject)
Apr. 3rd, 2026 23:28stardust_rifleI really love the trope in JJBA Part 5 doujins where the end of the doujin is reflecting on the characters’ tragic canonical deaths, but it’s honestly a trick that works best in paper doujin.
When you’re reading doujin, you have A: the tactile act of physically turning the page, and B: a really immediate sense of How Much Doujin Is Left. So, you’re sitting there, looking at the happy couple cuddling in bed after they Fixed Their Emotional Problems With A Hot Sex Scene, and going like “wait, there are too many pages left for it to be just authors notes, what’s going on", and then, if you know the drill, you just sit there in trepidation, building and building and building until you decide you’re ready to release the Sad and turn the page.
It’s kind of like Junji Ito’s full-page body horror spreads, how that I think about it. Reluctance to turn the page because of fear vs. reluctance to turn the page because of Sad. Interesting trick that really shows how choice of medium affects writing choices, because I’ve only ever seen one ENG-language fic author pull a similar trick.
When you’re reading doujin, you have A: the tactile act of physically turning the page, and B: a really immediate sense of How Much Doujin Is Left. So, you’re sitting there, looking at the happy couple cuddling in bed after they Fixed Their Emotional Problems With A Hot Sex Scene, and going like “wait, there are too many pages left for it to be just authors notes, what’s going on", and then, if you know the drill, you just sit there in trepidation, building and building and building until you decide you’re ready to release the Sad and turn the page.
It’s kind of like Junji Ito’s full-page body horror spreads, how that I think about it. Reluctance to turn the page because of fear vs. reluctance to turn the page because of Sad. Interesting trick that really shows how choice of medium affects writing choices, because I’ve only ever seen one ENG-language fic author pull a similar trick.
everyone else gives her Angsty 2014 Tumblr Girl stuff and like...
Apr. 3rd, 2026 22:04stardust_rifleThe only valid Jingliu playlist is the one floating around Spotify that starts with the NIN version of Hurt and just goes in that vein from there.
and i hold both of them in exactly the same amount of contempt
Apr. 1st, 2026 09:48stardust_riflethe guy who freaks out about any hint of NTR in the stuff he enjoys and the yumejoshi/otome game enjoyer who freaks out over any hint of BL in the stuff she enjoys are isomorphic. exact same Type Of Guy.
twas a cautionary tale, not an instruction manual
Mar. 30th, 2026 11:46elyusionTitle: Fight Club (1999)
Type: Movie
Poor Summary: Me when I start an underground boxing ring and become a terrorist because I'm bored
Why Did I Watch This??: Because everyone else has 🙂↕️ It's part of my journey to become a real human.
Strongest Aspect: Probably not actually the strongest, but I thought the CGI looked really cool.
Favorite Part: Not sure I have one... I just liked the entire movie. The twist reveal?
Least Favorite Part: None, but I suspect that during some rewatches I'll skip the first part of the movie, all the way up to when our protagonist meets Tyler.
Blahblah: These are the most intricate rituals which allow one to touch the skin of other men ever constructed.
Brad Pitt at the end of the movie looks like white Michael B. Jordan. Someone please agree with me.
Anyways, I see now why you might want to avoid a guy who says this is his favorite movie 😭 I would gladly rewatch it though; shit was crazy. And I want to read the book because I'm so curious how some of the things in the movie would work in writing.
Type: Movie
Poor Summary: Me when I start an underground boxing ring and become a terrorist because I'm bored
Why Did I Watch This??: Because everyone else has 🙂↕️ It's part of my journey to become a real human.
Strongest Aspect: Probably not actually the strongest, but I thought the CGI looked really cool.
Favorite Part: Not sure I have one... I just liked the entire movie. The twist reveal?
Least Favorite Part: None, but I suspect that during some rewatches I'll skip the first part of the movie, all the way up to when our protagonist meets Tyler.
Blahblah: These are the most intricate rituals which allow one to touch the skin of other men ever constructed.
Brad Pitt at the end of the movie looks like white Michael B. Jordan. Someone please agree with me.
Anyways, I see now why you might want to avoid a guy who says this is his favorite movie 😭 I would gladly rewatch it though; shit was crazy. And I want to read the book because I'm so curious how some of the things in the movie would work in writing.